It's a Boy Thing

The more I hang out with legitimate girls, the more I realize how much hard work goes into being beautiful. Hour showers, arm-cramping hair sessions, searching 4 pound make-up bags...

I know I could do it. I'm an artsy, patient, Barbie-Figure. But like I told my gorgeous girlfriends: I like going for the wow factor. If I wore makeup and did hairdo's everyday, that one time I didn't, I'd feel and look terrible. Whereas, now that one time I try, I get a wow.

Girls should really learn to be cofident in their own skin.

Coffee Talk

Ever notice that people who have kids, talk nothing but about their kids?

Ever notice that I'm starting to do the same thing?

Ever realized you have become the epitome of what you found annoying?

Logan Update

His first word was “Da-da” But I think he would say it for the sheer sound of it. He was 11 months. At a year, his first legitimate word was “hi” where he would also wave. Once he met my friend Desi he would shrug his shoulders when he didn’t know where something was. And with Katie he quickly learned what a kitty was. He started to call every animal a kitty and start to “meow“. He was one year 3 months. By then, he could say: dad, mama, kitty, meow, dog, keys, out, bear, ball, Katie, bye, ew and ow.
He now makes an enthusiastic “ooh” noise, almost a grunt, when he sees something interesting or hears something too loud.
He loves his teddy bears.
Whenever we go to a dressing room he trys stuff on.
If you let him choose between any color, he will always choose red or hot pink.
He sings to himself in the car.
He doesn't call me "mom" but by my first name. But if you asked him where his mama was… he’d point to me.
Ask him where Logan was, he’d point to himself.
Now that he's almost two, he can crawl out of his crib and knock on the door to be let out.
He loves his dad. Whenever Logan hears a car pull up, he’d think it was Nate.
He quickly became fascinated by babies. He sweetly says “bay-bee” when he sees one.
By two he can also say door, blue, balloon, “Blah”, Papa (for grandpa), and “ma-man” for superman.

You know You’re married to a Gamer when:

You ask for the trash to be taken out after a save point.

You will charter any course other than in front of the TV

You set on your calendar when games come out

Nate the Great

Everyone knows him as Nate. Or Superman. Gamertag: Man0fSteel. He‘s always in a superman T-shirt of some sort. He’s a full-time construction foreman. And a full-time gamer. When he was introduced to his Nintendo-whore future wife, he introduced her to Microsoft. It’s been a three-way love affair every since. When they found out they were pregnant in February 2005, they joked that his due date would be the launch date of the Xbox 360. They were five days off. Every since then, Nate’s been a full time dad too.

His son’s name is Logan Xavier. He took two months off to help his wife out. Between meals, playing Call of Duty and the late night feedings, Nate never complained. In fact, he changed every diaper that first two months. He was always willing to cater to Logan’s every need, because he actually wanted to. He was always amazed when his son accomplished something new, no matter how trivial it seemed.

When Logan finally started walking and needed more space than a one bedroom apartment, Nate took side jobs to make ends meet in the summer. He would come home hot and dirty but always took the time to play with Logan or read to him. He even learned a few books by heart word for word because he read them so much. But Nate would always wait until Logan got tuckered out, take a quick shower and let his son fall asleep on his chest as he fired up his console to play for a couple hours, staying perfectly still and quiet.

It didn’t take long for Logan to figure out the bright round green buttons on the Xbox and the remotes. He turns them on for Nate, then squeezes himself in the recliner next to him, clutching the remote Nate got him so he wouldn’t feel left out. Nate’s annoying good at every game he plays. He owns over thirty Xbox games and has beat them all at least twice. In the living room, there’s two TVs complete with two Xbox 360s. He never judges games by their reviews. He buys them first and decides for himself. In fact, the manager at Gamestop knows Nate on a first name basis. And she knows Logan, because he takes Logan everywhere with him. Whenever someone says that Nate’s starting him off too early, that he’ll be better than him one day, Nate always responds “I hope so.” Because that day when Logan figured out the joysticks and triggers on Halo 2, only to walk ten feet, shoot the wall and throw a grenade, he managed to kill Nate on a fluke, but was Nate every so proud.

Nate is definitely a father of a year. His wife’s expecting again, and he’s already on full time baby-sitting duty. His family is never neglected and incredibly happy. It’s actually quite sickening.

The PS3 Pissing Contest

‘Tis the season Sunday papers are thick with massive amounts of early holiday sales. Everyone’s thinking what to get everyone on their good list. But there’s something in particular on the minds of Sony lovers everywhere. It has even made it into the papers around the world, and not just in the ads. The launch of Play Station 3. Don’t let the lightweight book-sized exterior fool you. Technology has come a long way in the gaming industry. The accessories alone have you believing in the Jetsons. Plus, Sony's PlayStation pushes wireless networking and the new Blu-Ray player. Not just for gamers anymore. It’s hoping to draw more people in, from movie watchers to the lonely chatters. But Compared to the Nintendo’s upcoming Wii system and the already fan established Xbox 360 will the Sony PS3 stand up to its competition? The PS3 also includes the highest price yet for a game console. Will it be worth it?
The Play Station 3 is available with a 20GB hard drive for five hundred dollars or 60GB hard drive for six hundred dollars. Only 400,000 will be distributed nationwide on the launch date, November 17, 2006. Both have “Cell Broadband Engine™ advanced microprocessor Blu-ray Disc™ drive Bluetooth technology Four USB ports High-Definition Multimedia Interface (HDMI) SIXAXIS™ wireless controller Pre-installed removable hard disk drive” (http://www.us.playstation.com). The difference? The Compact Flash, SD Memory Card and Memory Stick Duo card slots Wireless network connectivity (Wi-Fi)” (http://www.us.playstation.com). So, needless to say, if you want online and the ability save all that precious data, get the bigger one.
For those of you already lost. Lets break it down. The Cell broadband engine is more efficient than traditional gaming consoles because of its multi-core processors. Translation: its forty times faster than the chip that runs its older brother PlayStation 2, which, back in his day, was the fastest in his class. Blu-ray is a next-generation DVD format that delivers high-definition graphics, so better picture quality. Blu Ray will more than likely be the only acceptable way to view games and movies and the PS3 is the only game console to offer this product feature. Plus, any ordinary DVD and CD as well as your old Play Station games can be used on the PS3. The extra USB ports are to connect your digital video camera directly to your PS3 with a USB cable and watch your own videos and slideshows of your pictures.
The hard drives that the PS3 offers are very roomy. Picture the PS3 coming out with two hundred games in total (only twenty of which will be available right away) and let’s say you own every last one of them, and have about three saved checkpoints saved on each game. Plus your all your pictures and music downloaded from your computer. Yeah, you could save it all. Even if you couldn’t, that’s what the memory sticks are for. More memory. The removable hard drive is a nice feature when it comes to going over to your buddy’s to play on his PS3 for the night. Every level you completed will be saved on your hard drive, not your buddy’s.
The PS3 does not only offer a beautiful inner working, but state-of the art accessories as well. But these features come with a price. “Prices of certain accessories also were disclosed: $50 for an extra wireless controller; $15 for a memory card adapter; and $25 for a remote control for the system's disc drive player” (WONG). “The multi-axis motion sensing system found in the new Play Station 3 controller employs technology that provides for seamless interactive operation, thus eliminating additional settings to TVs. With this system, users are able to maneuver the controller as a natural extension of their bodies, all in real-time and with high-precision. The sensors are made to read when a player angles, tilts, thrusts, or pulls” ( http://www.us.playstation.com ). So, say in the past when you’ve had your girlfriend over to play a race car game. She was all cute when she cut corners because her entire torso twisted with the curve, thinking she’s cut it tighter. You used to make fun of her because it didn’t help. Now it does. She might even beat you now.
Because of this feature alone, Sony Play Station 3 beats out the competition with the Nintendo’s Wii. They have a similar movement simulation with their wireless remote, and sadly, this is their only feature they have unique from their previous system the Nintendo Game Cube. Nintendo is solely relying on their diehard fans, the ones that still believe Nintendo is Godfather on all next-generation gaming systems, for their profits. Microsoft’s Xbox 360, is really the only contender in this battle of the best game console. The Xbox 360 has been out for a year now, and already has a steady fan base of loyal worshipers. Partially because Xbox has a lot of similar features and Play Station, but also because it came out a year earlier. When Xbox 360 had a final release date, it didn’t lie. Sony pushed back the PS3 release date several times. Even recently, it pushed it back four more days. Xbox received a lot of converted fans because of their honesty.
One aspect that the Play Station 3 hopes to beat the Xbox on is online play. Sony calls theirs Play Station Network. “It will let players compete and chat online and download games, music and movies. Download game content like weapons or maps even browse the Web and shop at the online PlayStation Store. The online capability of the PlayStation 3 features the unpredictability of live competition. Play, strategize and compete with friends and opponents, even if they're in a different time zone” (http://www.us.playstation.com). All Xbox players foresaw similar services to Xbox Live (which, in all fairness, is the exact same thing no matter how you word it). But here’s the kicker, the Play Station Network is free. “Online play, chat and other features will be free to users, who will have to pay to download some content. Sony said downloadable games provided by its units will cost less than $15 at launch.” (www.cnn.com). That’s awesome compared to the whopping seventy bucks a year, per account for Xbox Live. Sony’s quite proud of that fact, and mentions it often.
Here’s an interesting fact though: “With about 4 million users, however, the Xbox 360 is the first to attract a relatively high percentage of users to its service -- roughly 60 percent. A Sony executive said there were 3 million online service users for the PS2, which has sold more than 106 million units” (www.cnn.com). That’s only 2.8 percent of those who bought the Play Station 2 even cared for an online account. And in very small font on the Play Station website it says, “Requires broadband internet service and a wireless access point or LAN. Certain limitations apply to Wi-Fi connectivity. See the product documentation for details. User is responsible for Internet service fees.” (http://www.us.playstation.com). So maybe free online play is just a sugar coating on the very bitter price of the PS3.
But wait, let’s go back to Blu Ray. That blessed feature only Sony can boast about. “The format offers more than five times the storage capacity of traditional DVDs and can hold up to 25GB on a single-layer disc and 50GB on a dual-layer disc. Pristine picture quality with the capability for full high-definition resolution 1080p” (http://www.us.playstation.com). Why is it important? It‘s a “larger canvas to create a level of interaction, sophistication, and reality that has never existed in gaming. As a result, consumers can experience a whole new generation of high-definition gaming.” (http://www.us.playstation.com 3). Sony hopes to entice not only gamers, but movie watchers alike. “Some analysts expect movie fans to buy the PS3, priced at $500 and $600, as a machine to play high-definition DVDs in the new Blu-ray format. Blu-Ray competes with Toshiba Corp.-championed HD-DVD in a new standards war for next-generation DVDs.” (WONG 2) But is it really worth it, spending five hundred or more on a PS3? How much is a blue ray compatible DVD player cost? They start around four hundred dollars less than a PS3. But once again, you get that nasty fine print on the bottom of the page: “Some PlayStation 2 or PlayStation format software titles may perform differently on this system than they do on PlayStation 2 or PlayStation systems, or may not perform properly on this system. In rare instances, CDs, DVDs, Blu-ray discs and other media may not operate properly when played on the PS3 system. This is primarily due to variations in the manufacturing process or encoding of the software.” (http://www.us.playstation.com). Oh, well. At least the “first 500,000 systems shipped in North America will include "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," the comedy starring Will Ferrell” (www.cnn.com) as a bonus that emphasizes the ability of the PS3 to play high-definition videos. That movie should at least work.
Regardless of any downs to the many ups of the PS3, Sony stays optimistic. “Sony has sold 106 million PlayStation systems globally, including 40 million of them in the U.S., while Nintendo Co. has sold roughly 21 million Game Cubes, and Microsoft Corp. has sold about 23 million Xbox systems, said P.J. McNealy, an analyst at American Technology Research. "At the end of the day, Sony still has tremendous brand loyalty here, and they'll sell millions," he said. Sony officials were equally optimistic.
"We've always had formidable competition," Jack Tretton, executive vice president of Sony Computer Entertainment America, said in an interview” (WONG 2). “Our goal is to create an environment that is more than just a place to play games, but an environment based on community, communications, commerce, and content.” (http://www.us.playstation.com). “The (PS3) has the muscle and horsepower to move beyond artificial intelligence” (www.cnn.com).
So, will it be worth it? The Play Station 3 is faster, bigger, has Blu-Ray and the online play is free. It has USB cables for your digital camera and enough memory to store all of your pictures and music. The wireless remote will literally keep you at the edge of your seat. But, it’s expensive. The accessories are expensive. Not all Play Station games are backward compatible and some DVDs and burned CDs won’t work. For the internet, you have to have the proper equipment and LAN line, and might even get WiFi connectivity difficulties. It may provide spiffy 1080p graphics, but unless you already have the expensive television that can do higher resolution graphics, I guarantee you won’t know value the difference.
Sure, it’s not just for gamers anymore, you can appreciate the PS3 just as another computer gadget slash Blu-Ray player. Honestly, unless someone on your list that has been very good this year, and has to have a Blu-Ray compatible game console, save two hundred bucks and get the Xbox 360. The Xbox will practically have all the same titles in games, even more than the PS3 and more people will be online right away to play with you. If you want it for the multi-axis motion sensing system controllers, save even more and get the Nintendo Wii. In fact buy the Xbox 360 and Nitendo Wii for just a fifty dollar difference than if you buy Play Station 3. It seems that the only true thing you get for owning a PS3 is bragging rights for actually getting your hands on one. Because you got to remember, PlayStation 2 sold 106 million units and only 400,000 are being sent out at launch.

darkness

He hadn’t slept well that night. If he closed his eyes for even a moment, he could once again see his wife’s long Amazonian frame huddled in a fetal position before she shut off the light. He could still hear her weeping ever so softy at the edge of the bed.
Once he heard only rhythmic breathing, he grabbed his cell phone and ever so skillfully slipped out of bed tiptoeing into the darkness of the hallway. He held out his phone for its faint glow for any obstacles on the way to his son’s room. The light from street lamp outside the room’s window surrounded the crib. He found the baby snuggled in the corner of his crib gently snoring, his tummy rising and falling with every tiny breath. He gently brushed the baby’s blond bangs from his sweet little face before heading out the nursery and out the front door.
It seemed autumn had finally arrived. Breezes were brisker as they swept through the empty streets, rustling treetops along their way. And yet, there’s still something unnervingly quiet about a summer’s end. Sure the neighbor’s ridiculous dogs still howled at nothing, but that’s it. No fireworks. No frogs. No crickets. No hoodlums with their tops down booming rap from their cars.
Nothing.
Nothing but the echo of his footsteps slicing the chill in the air.
He had walked three streets now, with no final destination in mind. With his head low, he ignored his decrepit surroundings and focused at the task at hand. Not to lose count of his steps. Trival, maybe, but it was the only thing that kept his mind wondering to the fight before. If it could qualify a fight. More like mindless words exchanged in truth and yet, hurtful. Mindlessly hurtful.

Two-thousand, six hundred and seventy one… Two-thousand, six hundred and seventy two…

“I want to be like you,” she whispered. Her head hang low, her face hidden beneath mounds of tangled wet hair.
He smiled wildly, frustrated. “What do you mean like me?”
She looked up, eyes fierce and earnest. “I don’t want to be afraid of the dark again.”

Two-thousand, six hundred and eighty four… Two-thousand, six hundred and eight five…
“There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
“No? Really? What about the darkness when you close your eyes, and find yourself alone? Alone with your thoughts and searching your soul?”

Like it is now.

… every legend starts with truth

I always believed in fairy tales because I knew there was truth behind them somewhere.


Love is not words
But a gut feeling of utter bliss
A warmth that,
when thought of,
grows from the pit of your stomach
Until you inhale deeply and smile with total satisfaction
You’re whole.
Healed, as if you’ve never been broken

Sneaking Up on a Baby

It took three days for Logan to have a regular sleeping schedule of 3 hour intervals at night. He only woke up three times a night. So there was only one night I could remember that I broke down and cried because I was tired.
I sang “Hey Jude” as a lullaby.
He held his head up within the first month.
Nathan never let me see a dirty diaper for 2 whole months.
He got his first 2 teeth at two months. Never really bit though.
He was cross- eyed for three months.
He army crawled at four months.
He was always a morning person.
When it got to be that he could stand up when you held his hands, we walked him everywhere, literally, until our backs would ache. Then finally we started to walk him while holding his waist, so he gained balance. He started walking at 9 ½ months, but finally got to the point where he would never depend on objects to get back up, he was 10 months.
By that time he had already figured out how to turn off and on the tv, cd player, x box…. Luckily, he was normally still too short to reach anything. He would climb up into a mushroom chair next to his dad and think he was playing video games.

The Gamer's wife

“Are you on a mission?” she says.

“Yes”


“And here I was going to see if you were hungry.”


“Consider the mission completed”